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Thursday, 12 September 2013

About You

The many issues that one has to go through in life.
For most of my life I have seen people with troubled lives, married, divorced, singles.

Their commonly used phrases:

Don’t get married girl,’  Stay a spinster,’
Men are up to no good, ‘ What is a man?’

Why should other women feel the same if those couldn't get it right from the beginning?

It takes knowledge to meet the right person, which includes understanding, and communication,  no relationship  will work at its best level, but  if you focus on your feelings, when two people connect there is chemistry between them which makes it possible,  but afterwards it is about how you understand each other, a big part of a relationship that most people tend to ignore.

Loving your partner doesn't make everything perfect, the many divorces of today compared to twenty to thirty years ago is at an an astounding rate.

Years ago when couples got married they focused on arranged marriages,  for taking responsibility of their children, and followed their traits from generations,  it was really different,  a vow taken was for better or worse and not many thought about life beyond that, life was about having children and raising families and not having much of a career, in most cases these factors didn't matter.  Arranged marriages are still being practiced in most cultures to this present day.

Now with the improvement of a modern life one understands the world better,  and realizes that there are reasons for getting into a relationship,  and has to know more about the other person involved before making decisions, if you in tend on spending your whole life with someone, you shouldn't be making commitments when you are not able to stay together. 

Think in advance.

People have generally become unhappy with each other because of  new standards of living. Modern life has become demanding,  and living busy schedules has made it different.  Not many couples want to get married,  a single life is preferable for most men and  women, and some how it just seems right,  whereas at one time marriage and raising a family at a young age, at least for most people,  was the appropriate thing to do.
Single or married,  a person is still happy in their own way.  A choice that is made freely, not every one will find a soul mate, especially, if they are looking for someone to suit their levels.  At one time nobody had that choice of finding that someone special, it was in most cases already decided for them.

The many issues that one has to go through in life.
So, when you look at  how the  way life has changed,  it has made you not only know more,  but also challenged your lifestyles. 

With  more choices you are allowed to experience life in the way you choose, your very own choices that nobody can take away.
Attitudes, attractiveness, cheating, challenges, desperation, inventions,  and shaping of the world are what you are faced with,  and shouldn't feel out of place because your failures teach you to go forward,  and achieve what you want to become successful in your connections to people that you choose to be your partners.

Sometimes you neglect yourself, look unattractive, and unhappy when single,  because what  you desire is not coming your way and a feeling of desperation arises.

Your life shouldn't be reflected on our parents or our past experiences, focus on your present one,  present lives should matter and your future,  and don’t dwell in the past, it only ruins your present life and it means you don’t have much of a life.  Don’t cheat yourself on having a good relationship just because of your failures,  or of some one else’s relationship, that didn't make it to marriage, enjoy what you have not what could have or what didn't happen for you. Starting a new life is hard,  but you can’t pass every test in front of you.

You met somebody dated for a while and decided to make the next step, move in together, and if  it all goes well, try some  morning sex, it is the best, a great treat for both of you.  As a couple you become quite comfortable with  each other, living together,  and getting to know  the traits of one another.
Years go by and you are still in the same way living together, you are either scared to take a chance on love or not ready for a  commitment.  A sign of insecurity.

What is important to you?
Do you know when you are ready for marriage?
Why do you fear risking what you have?
Are you afraid of loving someone?

Sometimes past experiences put you off from taking a chance on relationships.  Marrying your childhood or college sweetheart, is not what every one wants to do, and  what you acknowledge about your partner is of importance to you.
A complicated life is what most people have,  not knowing of  what to decide and do with their lives, try harder,  you will get what you want if you give it time, and eventually all will work out for you.

How do you choose your date?
Do you have the right man?
What are your inspirations?

Showing  devotion, have a sense  of family, if you choose to be married, show interest in having time for your family,  take part in discussions, and consider issues too.
Enjoy your days of freedom, when you marry life changes, you will have other responsibilities, and  busy days too.

Are you still waiting for your father to have that conversation with you?

The childhood moments,  and the the facts of life that changes you daily, sex, money, marriage, success, religion and family discussions.

You benefit from your father’s lessons learned in his life, he could have been a quite person or someone that would only want the best for his child, even in the best father and son, or daughter relationships you will find the most uncomfortable familiarity that inhibits all from talking like friends.   It is not like our fathers didn’t have much to say to their children,  but sometimes too much. 

They had lived through some bad experiences too, losing women,  have once raised difficult children along their years, met  up with all sorts of people,  the good and the bad, they have seen their own careers, and had many encounters with life that made them who they are in their prime years.  However, fathers and their children don’t have an idea of how to start a proper conversation.

They would rather speak of cars, and sports to their sons,but never about the facts of life.  Issues are often avoided in this way.  

The problem is that most men want their sons to follow in their footsteps and look up to them as their heroes.

Devika Primić (Chipmunk) is a writer on Triond, and Hubpages (DDE). She is from Republic of South Africa, currently living in Croatia. Her articles contain important information for those out there who need such advice.

A writer with an abundant amount of articles online, about Relationships, and of Personal Experiences, I have created my way of holding a reader's attention.  Let’s face it, an on-line reader’s attention span is short and online writing is no exception.  
Can Acquaintance Rape Be Prevented

‘‘Friends’’ Raping Friends

Could this happen to you?

The most common stereotype of a rapist is a man hiding behind the bushes, waiting to attack an unsuspecting woman. Operating from this stereotype, many rape prevention programs have stressed the installation of bushes, and the teaching of self-defense to woman and most of the women know their attacker.

Sexual assault is all too commonly found within dating relationships, an increasing number of rape prevention programs are being developed to not only train women how to protect themselves, but also, change the attitudes, beliefs, and behaviors of potential rapists, namely, ordinary men.

Targeting the rape myth:

Targeting the misinformation rape mythology is one of the most widely used- and effective techniques in rape education programs. Generally participants, first read or view fictional depictions of women becoming sexually aroused while being raped, followed by the presentation of the scientific and medical facts of rape trauma.

Sexual communication training:

Men are more likely to misinterpret friendliness from an other-sex person as sexual interest. Educating people about how such sexual misunderstandings come about has been shown to have a positive influence on beliefs, and attitudes about rape and violence.

Inducing empathy:

Empathy is a feeling of compassion and tenderness for people who experience pain, loss, or other unfortunate circumstances in their lives. People who experience empathy are less likely to believe that victims caused their own plight. It is reasonable to hypothesis that inducing empathy will make participants in rape prevention programs more sympathetic to victims of sexual assault.

Sexual Aggression

What promotes a belief in the Rape Myth?

Pornography promotes the belief in rape myth the kind of material one uses to allow for a low character and a degrading purpose.
Such behavior is encouraged by these disrespectful acts. Both men and women have a satisfied action from these acts.

The Rape Myth

Physical abuse is a common theme in sexual encounters between men and women. Everybody has a dark side, there is no perfect person, so you can't look down at every man.
A belief that women enjoy forcible sex is totally nonsense, it is false, women don't find it exciting. Rape shows violence with force making the person dissatisfied and hurt physically, emotionally and mentally.
Most rapists feel it is true and watching the sexually aggressive movies makes one think that is how many women enjoy their intimate lives.

What do you think of the following Rape Myths?
A woman who goes to the home or apartment of a man on their first date would that imply she is willing to have sex?
Do you believe any female can get raped?

Some women can falsely report a rape to call attention to them.
Any healthy woman can successfully resist a rapist if she really wants to.
When women go around bra-less or wearing short skirts and tight tops, they are just asking for trouble.
In the majority of rapes, the victim is promiscuous or has a bad reputation.

If a girl engages in necking or petting and she lets things get out of a hand, is it her fault if her partner forces himself on her?

Women who get raped while hitchhiking get what they deserve.
A woman who is stuck up and thinks she is too good to talk to guys on the street deserves to be taught a lesson.
Many women have an unconscious wish to be raped, and may then unconsciously set up a situation in which they are likely to be attacked.
If a woman gets drunk at a party and has intercourse with a man she is just met there, she should be considered ''fair game'' to other males at the party who also want to have her intimately whether she chooses to or not.
There are women who report a rape for personal reasons, like to get back at the accused, they are angry and lie about the rape.
Sometimes a woman will say she was raped if she is pregnant, to protect her own reputation.

If your friend tells you she was raped would you immediately report it?

People shouldn't use ''an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth'' as a rule for living.
Do you think being roughed up allows for woman to be intimately involved with the other.
Most of the time you get women who pretend they don't want to be intimate with the other person, is she hoping he will force himself on her, or is she the loose kind of woman who doesn't mind it.

Do women enjoy it when a man forces himself on her?
Should a women move out if her husband forces himself on her?
Do you think explicit photos or movies provoke men aggression against women?
Watching such movies makes a man feel he can do what he likes to a woman even when she says NO.

Many females are being used as charms to prostitution and this also gives many men the opportunity to look at these women as low character.
Raping a woman is wrong, there is no doubt about it, but if a woman lies to get back at someone then that is a problem.

I once knew a teenage girl she was the kind that flirted with guys and had many boyfriends. There was gossip about her around the neighborhood I was much younger and to me at that time all the gossip felt strange and I wasn't familiar with her situation. A year later I realized her game.

The many boyfriends she had decided to have fun with her away for the weekend and this young women knew what her weekend would be like something she consented to, but didn't tell anyone. On that Friday afternoon after school ended she planned her trip and was away while her family sat by worried and had no idea what was going on with their daughter.

It was scary when her family and the neighbors spoke of the girl’s short disappearance as a kidnap or rape incident because it wasn't, and it made other young girls feel unsafe. When she finally returned home after the long weekend, something else came up.

Her lies covered up the incident of the weekend. She made it look like rape and kidnap and another belief came about, that she was possessed by a Tokolosh. The girl looked pale, and had a continuous stare across the ceiling which made others fall in for this superstitious belief. It was all so corrupt in that family for a while they had people come by and visit their daughter in everyone's eyes this girl was raped and kidnapped, but now looking back on the story she was just looking out for a good time with her boyfriends.

The myths believed about rape can sound true to many men

You can have many friends and be together with guys but if you don't trust anyone then don't be with that person. Being with a guy who wants to be intimate with you, and you too want to do the same. However, for some reason you pulled back and didn’t want to. Although you had every intention to and were willing to engage in intercourse, in other words you indicated YES but meant NO

Woman resist with intimate moments for cultural reasons, the thought of sleeping intimately is not what they want to do before marriage. It is socially acceptable for women to dress up in short skirts and to appear sexy, and are labeled negatively or known as loose.

Faced with this double standard, some women may see engaging in token resistance as a rational behavior to deflect this sort of negative social attribution. Also some women send mixed signals that are why some men force themselves on such individuals, but that shouldn't imply forced sex.
Rape occurs when a man refuses to stop his sexual Aggression.